Scars
by Grod44
Summary: This story follows the PJO characters as college students as mortals. It centers on Percy who is struggling with depression, and is trying to make his way in his first year of college. This is my passion project, and i used parallels from my life so please keep in mind that this could be someones life. Warning: Mature content, includes suicide, self-harm, and depression.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All of these characters used belong to Rick Riordan, and are not mine.

Chapter 1

It was finally move in day. I can finally put behind all the fucked up shit that was high school. I made sure I put on all of my bracelets and my watch, even how girly it made me look.

Mom, Paul, and Tyson moved in all my stuff, cried for a bit, and I sent them off on their way. As much as I loved them, this was a horse I had to take care of myself. I needed to make something of myself, I didn't want to be defined by my past mistakes. It was time to move on.

My roommate, Jason, seems like an interesting guy. He's from a different world than I am. He likes politics, I like marine biology, he's into sky diving, I like running by the beach. He seems to live in a world where everything is right, and happy. I don't.

The first day went fairly smoothly, until I found out who was living on my floor. I was walking down the hallway the first night, and then I saw….him.

Lester was just some standard douchebag from my high school. He played guitar, was captain of the lacrosse team, and even had a man bun. Sophomore he set his sights on the love of my life: Meg.

She was my best friend all throughout high school. I met her when we were freshmen, and she stole my heart. We hit it off from our first swim practice, and then after that we had this instant connection. The only problem was that she only saw me as a friend. And then she met Lester when they were sophomores. He proceeded to stalk her for the next 3 years. Then when we were all seniors, they got together.

And now this son of a bitch is living three doors down from me.

We saw each other in the hall way, and for a second it was like that double spider-man meme, we didn't know what to do. He gave me a simple "sup," I responded with a simple "hey." Then I went to my room and screamed into a pillow. This is going to be a long semester.

The next day I so hopped things were going to start turning up for me. They didn't. I went to the dining hall to find that it was closed, but thankfully there were two girls who also didn't get the memo and decided to hang out with me. They introduced themselves as Bianca and Hazel and we walked around for a bit, trying to find our classes. When the dining hall finally opened we sat and ate breakfast together with their brother Nico. Then I felt my introvertedness taking over and had to leave.

I stayed in my room most of the day, around 5 I went to a tour to find my classes. Of course I ran into Hazel and Bianca, we ended up hanging out afterward. They asked me why I left breakfast so abruptly, and I made up the excuse that "my roommate needed help with setting up his Xbox." That was the end of it.

Shit hit the fan as soon as I got back to my dorm.

Almost as if my life was a crappy sit-com, I walk straight into Meg and Lester walking down the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All characters used are not mine. They belong to Rick Riordan and his likeness.

Chapter 2

"PERRYYYY (she knows I hate the name Perry, but that's been her pet name for the past five years) OH MY GOD I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WENT HERE." "

"Nice to see you too Meg."

Well this is it this is how my life ends. An awkward staircase conversation.

"We were just going down to hang out in the quad for a bit, you gotta come with us!"

"But I-"

"NO EXCUSES, come on it'll be fun."

And with that she takes my hand and we go down stairs. We all stand around the quad as lester introduced me to a few of his friends; Neil, Frank, and Peaches. We all stood and talked for a bit. Mostly about Lester and Meg's relationship. I hated every second of that conversation. Though I do gotta say those were some really chill dudes, especially Neil and Frank.

I finally got out of there and went back to my room. I needed to sleep. I went through two hours of agonizing hell, and now all I wanted was my depression to take hold of me and let it rock.

The week went by fairly smoothly, right until Saturday. I was with my friends Piper, and Jason in the dining hall when a girl with bright blonde hair comes over to Piper. "You were in my orientation group right, could you help me out, this guy keeps following me and I'm getting really creeped out." So she sat down and joined us and we got to talking about her situation. Then this scrawny blond hair boy walked over. "Hey I was looking all over for you, who are your friends?" He introduced himself as Octavius and sat down with us. As it turns out he had an over inflated ego and was dumber than a door nail and believed he was going to be the next big thing. Thankfully a group of frat boys walked over and he joined them and left us alone.

Since I had my car on campus I decided to take us somewhere, and Jason suggested Ihop. "I could go for blue pancakes" I said. "What are blue pancakes?" asked Annabeth. "Oh only the greatest things ever. The night ended up being really fun. Annabeth turned out to be such a nice person….and a little cute I'll admit.

I feel asleep that night feeling the happiest I've been in a long time. It feels better when I know I have people that I can rely on. I hate feeling alone. When I do, it never ends well for me.

(AN: I'll admit it's going to be a little slow at first, but I'm building up to something. Just be a little patient)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in this story. All of them belong to Rick Riordan, and his company.

Chapter 3

3 months later –

This semester has been a bitch and a half. For starters Grover eats like a goat, the sounds that come out of this man are absolutely disgusting. Then there's the fact that I desperately miss being on a swim team, and missed the tryouts for the team. Finally none of my friends really party, and so I have not gotten drunk once in my time at school.

On the upside I have a lunch date with Annabeth today…

As I'm waiting for her in the quad I can feel my nerves building. My breath quickens, as my vision starts to blur. My mind starts racing; what if she's seeing another guy, what if she doesn't like me, what if I get friendzoned….again. I start pacing back and forth, trying to rationalize myself. A voice brings me out of my panicking. "Hey Percy, you ready?"

"Y-y-yeah" Here we go.

It was a warmer day so she was wearing shorts, but for some reason she had a long sleeve on…weird.

I took us to this amazing restaurant right by the ocean. The view was nice, but I thought that she was prettier. Hey that's a great line, I should use it on her.

"Wow everything here is so fancy" she said

"Yeah, my dad took me here a lot when I was a kid, it was always one of his favorite places to take my mom."

"That's really sweet, what happened to him?"

"He passed away when I was 12, it was hard but my mom met my stepfather three years later and they got married when I was 17…. Wow this is actually the first time I've talked about this to someone."

She seemed taken back by this. She was quiet for a bit before speaking

"I know how you feel, I lost my mom when I was 6. We were really close, and then she got sick and passed away. I guess we both have family issues."

"Yeah, I guess we do."

We kept talking for a bit. She talked about her bitch of a step mom, I talked about my dick of an ex step farther. We bonded through our mutual hatred of step parents. It was nice.

Then things got weird, and oddly dark. I asked her about her taste in music.

"I listen to a lot of gothic rock music. It helps me focus when I'm in a depressed state."

I chocked on my drink. "I'm sorry, what was that."

"I suffer from depression, I've been living with it for years now. At this point I'm pretty much numb to the pain."

"I'm sorry to hear that, I understand how you feel."

"How could you understand? It's not like you're depressed or anything, you're mister "Happy all the time."

"Well to tell you the truth I suffer from depression."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All rights and licensing to these characters belongs to Rick Riordan and his likeness

Chapter 4

"How could you understand? It's not like you're depressed or anything, you're mister "Happy all the time."

"Well to tell you the truth I suffer from depression."

At that moment all the humor drained from my face, this was serious. "I probably know more than you realize." A look of surprise came over her, as if she was scared of me.

She grabbed rapidly at her things, trying to get away from me as fast as possible. As she was reaching out, her sleeve rolled up just enough to reveal her bare wrist, and the five thin lines that resided on it. In that instant I knew exactly what was going on with her.

"Please, I can't do this anymore… I have to go-

Before she could get away my hand reached out and grabbed her wrist. I pulled up her sleeve to reveal the scars. "I….I can explain those," she stammered.

I said nothing. I simply stared at her and pulled up the sleeve on my wrist. There sat my own scars, five thin lines.

She said nothing, only stared in amazement at what had just transpired.

"Please stay," I whispered

She sat back down across from me. A moment passed of utter silence as both of us were trying to process what had just transpired. After a moment she finally spoke; "Why'd you do it?" she asked.

I looked down at the table, unable to even glance in her eyes. "It's a long story. It started sophomore year when I met my first girlfriend, Zoe. I had been going through a rough year, a close relative of mine died, I had to transfer schools, and most of my friends really didn't care about me. Then a close friend introduced me to her. We immediately hit it off. It wasn't long before we went on a date. It was the first time someone showed any interest in me, and I couldn't believe it. She ended up being my first kiss. Then I found out she was interested in my friend…. Clarisse. It turns out she was just using me to get my first kiss.

It wasn't long after that I was diagnosed with depression.

Junior year I ended up falling for my friend Calypso. She sat behind me in math, and we got close. I ended up taking her to prom. I had such a great time with her that I asked her out on a date. We became a couple soon after. The time I spent with her was the happiest in my life. And then she broke my heart. She told me she only saw me as friend and really didn't want to be my girlfriend. I was crushed and feel into a deep depression after that.

It took me until my senior year to get over her. After that I pushed all my romantic thoughts aside and focused on getting to college.

Freshman year I met Rachel, she was my last straw. It was the first weekend I had spent on campus. I was in the dining hall with some friends when she asked to sit with us to avoid a guy who had been following her. She was absolutely beautiful, and I was captivated.

One weekend I asked her if she wanted to go to the beach, and she agreed but wanted to see if other people would come. So I asked one friend and he brought his roommate. We hung out for a bit, talked, and snacked.

That was my mistake.

I asked her out the following Friday. And she said she needed time to think about it. I found out the following Monday that she hooked up with my friend's roommate that night. Needless to say it was a "no."

That pushed me over the edge. I did two things that night: I started cutting, and I wrote out my suicide note. I was sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself. All I wanted was to have someone that would make me happy, but I only opened myself up to heartache. Rachel only added to the cumulated whole in my heart. That night I sat in my room with my knife, just making cuts, hoping that the pain in my wrist would distract me from my problems. Except all I could think about was her."

Another moment of silence passed, she was just processing what I just said.

"….I wrote a suicide note too."

"Really?"

"I don't usually like to talk about it, but since you seem to understand"

"It started when I was a kid, maybe about five or six. My parents barely paid any attention to me. I wasn't making any friends at school. Really no one gave two shits about me. I didn't realize until middle school that I had clinical depression, but at that point it really didn't matter. My mom finally took me to a doctor, and he prescribed me with anti-depressants. I took them for about a week, and things were fine, but I didn't feel right. After that I stopped taking them and just kept living with it. High school was when I met Luke. He was everything I wanted; smart, athletic, caring, and apparently liked me, or at least that was the rumor I heard. He asked me out and I said yes because I was naive enough to think someone would like me.

I went on a date with him, one thing led to another, and I ended up giving him my virginity. I trusted him, so I let my guard down, and he took advantage of that. After that he pretended to not know me. I found out later that he bragged about it to his friends. To him I was just a "good lay." After that I had enough, so I promised myself not to open my heart to anyone ever again.

The night I found out, I fell into one of my depressed states. That's when I started cutting.

I had had it with my pathetic life. I went far enough that I wrote out a suicide note. I had a whole plan and everything. I don't know why, but I never had the guts to actually go through with it. So I went on with my life, made it to college, and met you."

"Have you ever tried seeking help for your depression" I asked

"No" she responded

"Why not?"

"I learned early on you can't trust people to be there for you. I prefer to keep myself closed off."

That struck a chord with me. Like me she's been suffering in silence this entire time. She's been alone in this since she was 5.

"What if you found someone you could trust?"

"Well that would make things easier"

"You can trust me"

"I know…..would you want to go back to my room, Thalia won't be back until Monday, and I have the room all weekend"

"I'd like that"

I'm not going to lie, I expected that to go much differently. I was not expecting to have a heat-to-heart like that. But hey life goes in all directions…..I guess.


End file.
